Dates
Result
Courses
Round 1
Hagley GC
(12:00 start, Wed 13/06: Par 72, White: 6376 yards Yellow: 6130 yards)
Web site says this is the toughest golf course in the area. Signature hole is the 15th – 557 yard par 5 – known as “The Monster”.
Golf rounds pp are: Hagley = £34.95, Kidderminster = £28.50, Droitwich = £31.00 (ie £95 total)
Hotel = £91 per room per night.
Contestants
19/06/18 – Sorry JT … sounds like an appeal to me. You won’t be surprised that I don’t agree … first of all, the reduction is only HALF of a player’s average handicap. So in your case, half of 22, or 11 (23+23+20)/3 x 50% … which is only 0.33 higher than the 10.67 deducted off last year’s winner and runner-up … Messrs Roberts and Brown whose average handicap was 21. They of course amassed totals of 50 and 48 respectively last year, whereas you managed only 46 this year … hence 4th.
Clearly players on a consistently higher handicap do score 4 & 3 pts more regularly than those on a lower handicap … so I believe the 50% reduction is fair for this comp … you’ll just have to sink more putts next year !!! Nick ‘Black Cap’ Burnett, Dictatorial Hon Sec, Aardvarks Golfing Society.
PS : A donation of £5 to the Chairman’s ‘Bring Back the Peoples Champion’ campaign would no doubt be much appreciated !!! – Nick
18/06/18 – Thanks to everyone for a great three days but in particular Nick and Colin as always and major congrats to Phil on leading after both round two and three – no choking.
THIS IS NOT AN APPEAL! Just wondering why the eclectic score is having the average handicap subtracted. That would be logical if gross scores were being used but stableford scores already have handicap taken into account. Effect of current approach is to make it very difficult for a higher handicapper to win, although that of course suits pros like Mr Adams! – Jon T
So please find enclosed a copy of the final results confirming where you finished this year, together with the Aardvark Tour Roll of Honour and the results of our NEW Eclectic Competition.
Congratulations to Phil, Tol, and Stu … note Tol’s 2nd place comes hot on the heels of his 3rd place last year, so complicates the adjustment slightly in previous years’ winners adjustments – as does Stu’s 3rd after his win in 2016 … however, I am sure you will all be pleased to hear that the B-o-M system computer has had extra memory added and so will easily cope with these additional adjustments.
Congratulations also to Waggy Senior on a successful return to the Aardvarks fold by winning the NEW Eclectic Competition, a 3 day rolling event based on a player’s improving scores. Prizes for this will be awarded next year. He also had the Best Back 9 of the Week.
Finally a mention in dispatches also for Son of Wagg … Waggy Junior … a great debut performance off a lower starting handicap than most at 11. He won the third round with 32 pts, came 4th overall, just 3 pts off the Champion and runner-up in the Eclectic … congratulations Josh, a great effort and, as a reward, I am pleased to also tell you that you will be starting off a handicap of 7 next year !!
I’d also add my own thanks to Broggy on selecting 3 great courses … and early indications are that 2 of the 3 will feature in our TOP 25 MOST DIFFICULT COURSES played. Anyway that’s all for now folks … hope you all enjoyed the trip … I await with anticipation what our Irish Champion comes up with for our 25th Anniversary year.
Nick Burnett, Aardvarks Hon Sec
18/06/18 – Hopefully you have managed to remove those trousers by now. Congratulations – no doubt in 11 months time Nick will prove it was the second easiest competition in the 24 year history. Ps don’t lose the trophy!! – Brogie
16/06/18 – Yes well done all. Big congrats Phil great to have yet another new champion. Don’t worry Nick, Tol still a few more places left on the prestigious trophy for you to be enrolled into the “Hall of Fame”. – Stu
16/06/18 – … and thanks to last year’s champ Richard for organising really decent courses on Wednesday and Thursday – can’t speak about Friday but my spies (who play golf regularly) tell me it was good as well. I enjoyed Droitwich last time I was there. Well done Phil. Hope we’ll all be together next year. – Chris
16/06/18 – Big thanks to Colin and Nick for the last few days. Good to see all again, have enjoyed the fruits of the longest drive prize, and have invented new chopped tomato recipes whilst contemplating life. Just have to get the sight of Jez’s massive calves out of my head … – Phil N
09/06/18 – Surely they should have been pink to go with your driver !!! – Jez
09/06/18 – I have purchased a dozen green golf balls. Shall we have a sweepstake on which round and hole that I will lose the 12th one!! – Phil M
Well having just about recovered from the euphoria of yesterday afternoon … with my Bestest ever card now framed in gold in my trophy cabinet alongside my valuable ‘ Marley Roof Tiles ‘ Dinky truck … it is now time to reveal a NEW COMPETITION, which will hopefully become a further part of Aardgolf folklore in due course.
After much discussion with the R&A we are now being permitted to introduce an ECLECTIC COMPETITION into our annual tour of fun and sporting achievement. Now I can hear many of you asking what exactly that is (and I suspect some may be using somewhat stronger words!) Well it’s basically a little comp based on your best hole scores over the 3 rounds to be played.
More details as to how it will operate are attached, together with an example results sheet from last year … congratulations to Tim Roberts and Duncan Brown whom would have won the First and second prizes … had there been any !!
The Aardvark Committee is currently in session to decide on the 2 prizes for this Competition … which will be revealed in due course.
Ok, that’s about it … unless I can get the new ‘AARDVARK BOOK of RECORDS’ finished before Wed …
Speak Soon
Nick Burnett, Aardvarks Games Maker 2018
08/06/18 – Juddy … I’m coming for you this year!!! – Nick
08/06/18 – Well played Nick … my point exactly – recent actual golfing form could be taken into account within the Aardvark handicapping system. Nick would come down by 3 shots for that score at a club. (But no complaints from me). Look forward to catching up with you all.
PS please ignore Mr Tipler’s comments – clearly buying him one pint of Wainwright’s has messed up his rose tinted view of my golf, which on tonight’s form is no threat off my actual golf handicap (never mind the slightly reduced figure I shall be competing off) … bet its 15 years since I had 43 points, and anyway, JT should show more respect to the eldest member of this year’s tour? – Chris
08/06/18 – On another matter – played with Adams today who was whinging about his Aardvarks handicap again. Anyway he is concerned that he might be team boy on Thursday when he leaves us and what he will be fined for failing to carry out his duties and wear the clothing allocated to him? Perhaps the committee might like to consider this although I doubt it will happen. He’s still a single figure golfer really. – Jon T
08/06/18 – Oh yes he will – Jon T
08/06/18 – A copy of our scorecard from this evening. As the eagle eyed will note Nick scored a gross 90 which equated to 43 points. Could this be his year after all this time? Surely he won’t choke when in this form!!! – Stu
Sheet 9A & Sheet 9B … THE HONOURS BOARDS of where we have been and who have been the lucky winners to date. Also here is the summary showing who has the highest and lowest no of entries on the boards.
I should point out to new members that these boards are of course ‘ virtual ’ and do NOT exist, as some thought, in Colin’s Art Studio at home. They are always available to view in the AARDGOLF display manual which accompanies me on every tour.
Also today we have Sheet 10 … the updated CHAMPIONS RACE … showing that Stu Nicholson still sits on top of the leader board, although Dick Allott did close the gap a bit last year.
Finally today, the interesting Course Performance & Difficulty guide … Sheet 21.
As you will note last year’s courses sit pretty much below mid-table which indicates that it was one of our easier years.
Ok that’s it for now … but stay tuned later for news of an exciting NEW COMPETITION this year
Nick Burnett, Supplier of Interesting Wallpapers to the R&A
06/06/18 – You get the joy of friendship Nick … – Phil Nic
06/06/18 – Phil … yes been there. It’s a very nice club in Warwickshire!! Do I win a prize ??? – Nick
06/06/18 – Henley in Arden golf and country club? – Phil Nic
06/06/18 – Do any of the Timperley Massive fancy a cobweb removal session somewhere local around 1.30 on Friday? I have checked the fines sheet and found no penalty for this. I believe the committee takes a dim view of practice directly before the main event but I believe this is early enough to avoid the wrath of the beak. Let me know . Triple Champ Juddy
So please find attached Sheet 7 … the OVERALL ROUNDS SUMMARY.
As you can see even after a few years off Waggy Senior still tops the tree with the highest overall round average of 27.96. Some have got close but no one else has got near 28.
Sheet 20 … is this year’s ‘Special’ being DICK’S GRAND DRAW … geared around Dick Venes trying to reach 1000 Aardvark Stableford Points.
As you see he currently has 957, so needs 43 to reach this landmark. It is estimated by the Committee that he should achieve his goal sometime during his 2nd round … so we will be having a ball sweep on which hole he reaches the magic number of 1000. Numbers will be randomly allocated on your arrival on Wednesday using the B-O-M RANDOM ALLOCATION system … so look out for your lucky hole later.
Finally today … this is the one you’ve all been waiting for I suppose, Sheet 13 … unlucky for some. This is the updated HALL of FAME sheet, which seems to be getting a bit crowded now. It also contains this year’s updated, ratified SOCIETY HANDICAPS for the 2018 tournament.
Remember last year’s winners have been penalised shots, and previous winners now get their previously penalised shots back at the rate of 1 per year. In addition, we welcome back Messrs Venes and Wagg Senior on their previously recorded closing handicaps. Our new entrant this year, Mr WAGG JUNIOR, has honestly declared his handicap which has been subjected to the basic Aardvark reduction quotient of 16.6666%, so he will start on a very respectable 11.
Now I have seen a couple of comments/questions already about Handicap levels … to be clear, any appeal is subject to the normal deposit of £5 into the Chairman’s Charity Beer Fund before any appeal can be considered. So, could Messrs Adams and Wagg Senior please just confirm whether they will be making a formal appeal or are they just trying to wind up the Handicap Secretary as usual?
So that’s all for now, last few bits to follow before the weekend.
Nick Burnett
Aardvarks Hon Secretary and CEO ‘Burnett-O-Matic’ Handicap Systems Inc.
Sheet 17 – The updated HANDICAP SYSTEM for 2018 … showing the previous year’s winners adjustments, and the adjustments that will be applied during this years’ tour. Note the maximum handicap allowed this year will be up to 36 … but of course in the true Aardvarks spirit anybody starting on or going over the 28 limit will be subject to a post-round fine.
Sheet 12 – this years’ PLAYER FINES … most of which are self-explanatory. Please note that, after the debacle last year, the Committee have introduced a ‘Lutherism’ … a new penalty for a serious scorecard completion error. That’s not about an addition error for example but something like putting scores on the WRONG CARD or in the WRONG COLUMN. Hopefully by taking care and avoiding this penalty, this will save some time in the daily card checking procedure.
And finally on this email:
Sheet 11C – the 24th ANNIVERSARY 2s & 4s COMPETITION, over the first 2 days … again just a bit of fun and a chance to replace those golf balls you’ve lost on the course!!
Ok that’s all for now … Handicap info to follow later today.
Nick Burnett, Aardvarks Fun Manager 2018!!
Firstly … as usual … I’ll kick off with Last years ratified TOUR RESULTS for 2017 (Sheet 4)
and a NEW ROLL OF HONOUR sheet (Sheet 5A) summarizing most things of interest from last year.
A special note of praise goes to Mr Philip Nicholson who upon making his Aardvarks debut last year managed to finish in last place with a not totally disgraceful score of 63 pts … a performance in the true Aardvark spirit !!
Also enclosed is the updated END of TOUR HANDICAPS sheet (Sheet 2) , showing how your handicaps have moved over the years. This I know is of particular interest to Mr Sturat Nicholson who having completed 20 years of Aardvark golf is still on the same handicap that he started on back in 1998 !!!! … come on Stu … it’s time to make an effort and improve a bit !!!
More bits etc and news of a major change in handicapping to follow in due course
Nick Burnett
To repeat, if you’ve not had a website peek, the address is as follows …
Premier Inn – Kidderminster
Slingfield Mill
Weavers Wharf
Kidderminster
DY10 1AA
Tel: 0333 321 9263
Having said that though, I did notice that the Sat-Nav postcode is given as DY11 6TT … so that may be to do with parking. Parking is free between 6.30 pm – 8.00 am at the hotel, but it seems charges apply outside of these hours … see website for details. My intention is to go to the hotel on WED am prior to arriving at Hagley to ensure that there are no hiccups.
Ok that’s it on that…any questions, let me know, Nick
First of all many thanks goes to our Champ, Mr Brogden, for setting up 2018’s tour which will be a bit more like our normal format.
Ok, having received the final paperwork from the Premier Inn group for our forthcoming stay in Kidderminster, it appears that we have to notify our guest list and pay up the full amount before we arrive. I have to confirm final numbers and pay up by MONDAY 28th MAY. Whilst room rates vary on different nights, the best estimate I have at present works out at an average of £91(B&B) per twin room per night … or £91 (B&B) per person for the 2 nights. We may have an odd number this year so I will try and ‘iron out’ any extra amount charged by the hotel when the final costs are known. If you have any particular room sharing requirements please let me know by return otherwise I shall allocate rooms using the Burnett-o-Matic room handicap system mark 2.
The golf cost will be approx. £95 per person for the 3 days and I would also like to collect this at the same time as the hotel payment. It will make things a lot easier for me on arrival. That will just leave the prize fund/kitty to be collected on tour, which I will do in cash please once all costs are known.
So if you’re in for the full trip I need £186 (less your £50 deposit) off you asap … or £136 in real money at the latest please by SUN 25th MAY 2018.
Mr Adams … your reduced rate will be £110 (less £50) … or £60
Mr Judd … your reduced rate will be £151 (less £50) … or £101
Mr Allott … your reduced rate is NOT reduced and will be £31 … as I don’t appear to have received your deposit.
No doubt our erstwhile Chairman will be sending out the full joining up instructions as normal in a week or so and of course this year’s stats and handicaps will follow thereafter. If you have any questions please let me know by return and finally as a reminder the Bank details are as follows:
Sort code; 07-10-40
Ac no – 65119360
Name – NI BURNETT
No cheques please unless really, really necessary … thanks.
Nick
PS Waggy, can you send me Josh’s em address and I’ll get him on the circulation list … cheers!!
| Wed 13th | Hagley GC | Tee off 12.00 | £34.95/hd | Bacon rolls +18 |
| Thursday14th | Kidderminster GC | Tee off 11.00 | £28.50/hd | 18+ meal |
| Friday 15th | Droitwich GC | Tee off 10/10.30 | £31.00/hd | 18+ light lunch |
Whilst it is early days and last year’s handicap adjustments are still hibernating in their box it is time, however, for you all to cough up your £50 deposit to secure your plaice on this year’s tour. (yes, it’s fish and chips every night !)
Accommodation has yet to be finalised and further details will follow in due course … but it is going to be somewhere near Kidderminster.
So please send your £50 direct into the ever popular Aardvark savings account … namely …
Sort code: 07-10-40
A/C: 65119360
Name: N I Burnett
and remember please just drop me a note confirming you have paid … and also if you are NOT stopping for the full duration.
Col will be in touch as soon as the Accommodation has been fully sorted with all the other joining up details etc etc
Speak soon
Nick Burnett, HON SEC, AGS
I strongly urge you to view England Hockey’s team of the week …
It is … … … … Weds 13th to Fri 15th June 2018 at a secret location in Worcestershire.
Records show that the locality enjoys a record high temperature of 32 degrees and the average number of rainy days in the month of June to be 9.7. Pevners famous architectural guide (1968 version) to the Buildings of England describes this location thus, “uncommonly devoid of visual pleasure and architectural interest.” There is a direct bus link with Bewdley and it is the birthplace of that crazy TV personality, Rustie Lee.
Negotiations with accommodation suppliers are ongoing and further details will be issued in due course. This will be the 23rd re-enactment of the battle for the ‘R W Thomas shield’ and likely to be the final version whilst equal partners with our European cousins.
Aardvark HQ
2 – Previous Tour Handicaps – 2017 (Excel Spreadsheet)
11c – 2s & 4s Anniv Comp – 2018 (Excel Spreadsheet)
12 – Fines Sheet – 2018 (Excel Spreadsheet)
13 – Handicaps At The Start Of The 2018 Tour (Excel Spreadsheet)